Multiculturalism in Dating.

How to begin relationship in a big city?

First of all, in reality it is tough to find a soul mate today, especially in the big city. In New York, it is Impossible… (Trust me (!!!) Everybody is busy. Everybody has their own lives. Everybody takes care of themselves: yoga, gym, cooking classes, parties… Everybody has their own interests, culture, mentality, language. But what to do if you want to step out from your background and try something new? New culture, new mentality… What if you want to look outside of the box, and create something new for you?! What if you would like to try multiculturalism in your life? Sounds good, right? In New York, it is as simple, as leaving your phone number on the cup of coffee.

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What do you need to know before dating a “different” man/woman?

You may have a new experience in your life but In New York, it is quite difficult to find a right person, so if you find the person, hold him/her before s/he escapes 🙂 Because ratio Females:Males is 5:1, can you imagine how women feel like *… (And my question is why females want to dominate then? Not rational at all, isn’t it?) 

1. Language

You have to know that it will be a language barrier between both of you, always. Especially, if your partner is an immigrant. Be patient, let your partner feels comfortable with you and then it will pay off. Patience is the main key in a multicultural relationship. My suggestion, try to be sympathetic or try to help mentally and emotionally. You have to understand that language is what connect you… and sometimes it is pretty difficult to express your feelings talking in English. Comparing to my language which is Russian, it is impossible to express everything what I think and feel. My suggestion is try to learn your partner’s language and then you will realize how difficult it is.

2. Food

When you cannot share the same meal or drink, it is complicated. I am not talking about food allergies or preferences. I am talking about the same tastes. I know some couples that cannot have a dinner together because they cannot find a meal that will satisfy both of them. If you decided to try a new culture, so please try new food at least once. I feel disgusted when people refuse a traditional/national meal because of “I don’t eat vegetables” or “It looks nasty” or “I don’t like greens”. From my point of view, you can try and re-phrase it to “It tastes different” or “I’ve never seen this meal before” or “In America, we do not eat that much greens but it is new for me. I think I need more time to try it”. Some food may tastes hot or sweet, have smell, consist different types of delicatessens but it will be polite to try.

3. Mentality

Remember that you were reared in different countries. You have different views on things. You have different cultural background; you may not know about communists parties and I have no idea about democracy. You have an image of me as a Russian woman with bottle of vodka and borsh and I have an image of fat man with coke and burgers on both hands. You celebrate Christmas, I celebrate New Year till January 7th (!!!) You know where jazz and blues came from, I know how to sing post-soviet union songs. What did you use in your high school? Pencil, right? I used a pen, blue color only. There are a lot of differences… so if you decided to be in a multicultural relationship, it is difficult but amazingly interesting.

4. Tolerance

It is a hard work to be tolerant with your partner but I truly believe that you can deal with it. You just need some time to feel comfortable with each other. To be tolerant is to be respectful to each other, to understand and perceive everybody’s habits and sometimes behavior. You cannot just be a tolerant person, you have to develop it every day. How? Once again, be patient and try to understand why your partner acts differently today. I believe that talk therapy works perfectly in this situations.

That’s it for now. The next topic will be based on my personal experience.

PS. Hope you will enjoy your Multicultural relationship.

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