“I need your love… I need your time…” song.
Couple of months ago, I heard a story of my good friend about her relationship. Today I decided to publish it with her permission.
“I met him accidentally. It was a co-worker thing, you know, “Hi” and “Bye” thing, nothing special. Then I changed my job and we lost connections. We message to one another once in a while. It was nothing for me because I broke up with my boyfriend recently, and was really depressed. You know, it is like a nightmare when you cannot eat, drink, think… and at this time, you do not think about new relationships at all. One day, we decided to meet up and catch up on everything. We had a couple of drinks and we started to talk. It was a long conversation about everything but at the same time about nothing. Then (sigh) I didn’t know how it happened and what happened and what changed inside of my mind but I started to laugh, smile, love my life next to him. I enjoyed the feeling of being happy and alive next to him. Do you remember this phrase that, “Woman starts to love the meaning of the relationship first, this incredible feeling of safety, then she begins to love a man who created this atmosphere” I looked at her and said, “Of course, I remember…” Since then I just started to look at him like a woman. I found out that I had goosebumps when he holds my hand, crazy, right? I didn’t have this feeling for a long time… Remember my ex-boyfriend? Do you remember how I loved him? I was just crazy about him and excuse him everything… I just wanted to drown in his eyes but at this time… I swear, at this time, I said to myself, “Never ever ever again. I do not want to hurt myself again. Never ever ever again.” And do you know what? He picked me up one day and we drove to the beach. It was a beautiful summer night, clear sky and thousands of stars. You know I love to catch the stars (smiled). Can you imagine, after 10 pm, all NY beaches are empty. I didn’t know that before. She started to laugh but I caught sorrow at her eyes. We just walked… he held my hand and said, “Let’s sit down, I want to tell you something.” “What did he said?”, I asked her. I was so fascinated with the every single word, she said. He said, “I love you.” I was sitting quite, I didn’t know what was going on; at this time, I just wanted to stop this moment. I closed my eyes and said nothing. I held his hand and looked at the sky, I heard waves, ocean breeze, his breath… Can you imagine that I didn’t hear these words for two years?! I was so confused and happy at the same time. We started to date. Everything was perfect. Everything was just right. Do you know these words from the song, “When everything’s wrong, you make it right”. It was just Perfect (with a capital “P”). I just wanted to make him smile, to make him happy and calm next to me. He always repeated that, “My priority is your smile” and yes like every girl, I was happy. After a year, I called him and said, “I need to see you immediately.” He picked me up, and we went to the beach… again. It was too cold, I was freezing at this night (smiling). We found a swim guards chair, the huge one. We sat right there. It was the same ocean breeze, endless sky and waves. He hugged me and I said, “I think… I love You.” I said, “It was year since you said it to me. Now I am ready to say it back.” He smiled. Do know what? I am lost. I am so scared; I do not want that someone hurt me again. I am just scared. She was trying to hold her tears but I could see that a lot of stuff going on inside of her mind. Do you know what? I was feeling perfect next to him until I said that. Now, it is like an explosion of feelings and thoughts. The best part is that I can feel again, I CAN love again and my heart is open… again. But at the same time, I am scared because of it. I was looking at her, and I said, “You have to believe in it. I know, you are scared but let him guide you. The person, whose priority is your smile will never make you cry. How it called? LOVE?” She smiled.
You never know. We meet some people on purpose… It is unnecessary to find a right man or woman, waste your time… If it Yours, it Will find you no matter what. One day you will find someone, and then you will realize why it didn’t work before… with others.