Hi. (The letter that I never will send)

Here is what I write (here… is what I want to write).

Hi. (Hi my sweetheart, my man… my love…just mine). How are you? (It is a simple question… but I really want to know that) How’s your life? (Did you miss my emails? letters? voice? my number on your screen? I miss you.) I am doing great. I have a new job and I am an A student. My life is pretty calm without you (I am still thinking about “what if…” and about us in this phrase) and my life became normal; I have the same routine every day and I like it because I have a stability without you. (I miss your voice and crazy calls during the night… I have a routine, R-O-U-T-I-N-E and I hate it). I have a new boyfriend; he is an amazing man and a good friend. (I do not want to say that I am still single, and I do not have an energy to smile and flirt with someone else. I want to look into your eyes again and again and again). You were the best part of my life, but unfortunately we had an opposite ways but it is ok; it is a life (I want to believe that our ways will become the one way road one day. And life…life is not a fair thing. It is not fair when we are thinking about each other… alone…too far from each other… when I want to share my life, my every day life with you… I can’t…and it is not fair). I think you have to pick up your stuff because I do not want to keep it (When I want to feel you, I am still wearing your shirt to sleep in it. After 100 of washes, your clothes didn’t have your smell but I am still feeling it). Please do not call or email me, I will not respond anyway (but I will look and read it… I will wait for your email with a simplest subject “Hi”… and I will smile… I know it). I wish you good luck (and I wish you to be happy, smile a lot, and believe that you will find your right woman one day. I was trying to be the one but it was not enough time to prove it or I did something wrong. I tried to be an angel but I couldn’t. I became to love you more than I expected, and it ruined everything). Say hello to everybody (I want you to say hello yo yourself from me. I wish to send you my smile while I am typing this letter. I wish to pack my emotions and send my feelings to you. I wish to be yours again and say hello to the entire world while you hug me). I wish that everything will be fine with you (I want to create this “everything” around you… I want to take care of you and love from the bottom of my heart… I am sad because I lost you and You lost me.)

Take care. (I love you. Only you…still…)

A. (Your little one . Your girl)