Talk, Think, Love freely.
Why people said that America change people…their views and style of life? Couple of week ago, I got an email that offended me a lot. It was, “You became a real American… you didn’t pay attention on anything… I was scared that you will be… and you became an American s* girl…” I didn’t answer because I thought it will be unnecessary to talk with this kind of person.
Everything change and every culture or surroundings change your views every single day…and it called Growth. Sometimes it changes us for the right side but sometimes it changes because it should change Us, You.
Just for your information: People in Uzbekistan or Post Soviet Republics tried to buy an apartments or houses. At this time, almost everybody had a “shelter” to live in, and when I came here, it was so surprised for me that everybody rent a houses or apartments. When people said, “We live in a basement”, I didn’t understand how they can live there… but after six or eight months I realized the cost of money in America. Because the level of bureaucracy in Uzbekistan is higher than should be, everybody wants to earn free money. For example, you can have $200 earnings but in reality you can have $500-$1000. I did it there and I know how it works in my country and it is not a secret that “making money” is more easy than work (honestly) for this money.
The another aspect is a marriage. My friends started to say that, “You are always in the library. Do you know that * or * had kids and they stayed at home and enjoyed their lives?!” In Uzbekistan, you (woman) have to marry before 25-26… 30-33 is too old for the marriage. Usually girls become wives after their bachelor degree, it is about 22-24 years old. Sometimes, in small district girls become wives after the high school, 15-17 years old. I heard news about my friends, and yes…sometimes I am jealous because in my mind I am getting older but how my father said, “You can wait till 35-40 but the men should be one and for the whole life…you don’t need to waste your time and youth for the garbage.”
Studying… yes sometimes my friends said that I am studying too much. In Uzbekistan, bachelor degree for girls is more than enough. Sometimes boy’s parents try to avoid a girl with a higher education because girl may be smart and may leave their family if she doesn’t like their attitude. So… having a girl with a high school diploma is usually “cheaper” for parents and their son than having a girl with masters degree in economics or philosophy. So here is a dilemma: to have a degree and live alone or get a marriage but leave your dream about education? tough right?
Here we come back to my story… Yes… I agree America changed my life a lot; I started to live in reality with a real every-day problems. Yes… I earn money to pay for the rent and my bills… sometimes I work too much but nobody can blame somebody if they want to live better. As an immigrant, I can say that I will never leave my country if I had an opportunity to live and earn money and got my degree and have a normal family. Living in America, I do not think about my age because ages do not have edges such as color of skin do not have a tone in America 🙂 I am thinking about a family and kids but for now I have to have an education first… to earn (again) money to put my kids to good school and then give them an opportunity to have BA and MA. Yes… my views changed when I realized that I can study and continue my education here… I saw a lot of opportunities to grow up as a person, so why don’t use them? Yes… America changed people… and I am happy that I was away from the stereotypes and prejudice. For instance, I talked with my friend and she asked me questions, “Who is he? What’s his nation? Did he have a car…house…money…” and I was thinking that I am too far from these kind of questions now. We live in this country and yes… we observe different types of relationships every day and for us…is not THAT important his/her background than a cost of relationship. The part of my life that I love the most is that I can live in this country and feel myself free… I can walk and feel free… I can be a free person with my own thoughts and opinions and nobody will tell you that you are wrong. I may not afraid about my views and I can talk freely about everything… and here’s the biggest difference between my country and America. I think I changed my points of views and if somebody blame me…it is because they want to do it but they do not know how to make it. Or they do not have this ability to think, talk, love and see things freely.
PS. My advise is -Do not blame others if you do not try it before. You have to walk on their shoes and then… to think before you say something.