F*… I am a lady.

In USSR time, every single student has to have a “diary” where s/he got their scores, notes, homework notes and… weekly scores for behavior. Teachers had to use only red ink and students had to use only blue or purple inks. I remember when my mom opened my diary and there was a red ink everywhere with “Anastasiya fights with Timur”, “Anastasiya races with boys”, “Anastasiya beats Igor using math book (it was the heaviest one)” and others, she said, “Anastasiya… be a girl… be a lady please.” I was a kid who always fight and had a lot of conflicts with teachers and my class mates. I did not have a lot of girlfriends because I always were with boys. I remember the time when group of my friends (it was me and 5-6 boys) climbed on the trees and eat apples sitting on them. I really didn’t understand… how I did it because I was wearing a dress most of the times. We shared stickers, sandwiches and ideas how to bother girls. It was the best time of my childhood 🙂

In the middle school, I skipped lessons with boys to play Counter Strike (it was a computer game… Is it still exist? 🙂 and then it was a Counter Strike: condition zero. And yes… I was the one girl from my class who used to play computer games. When I started to remember my high school years… hm… it was the same situation. I tried to be with boys because half of them were dating with the rest of my class, and I thought I will learn more (gossips and news) from them than from girls. The worst thing that I remember in my high school was that I was a very swearing person; I used a lot (a lot!!!) of bad words… back to my high school years, I am ashamed right now because of my behavior.

Today I talked with my best friend and I said, “I know why people said that I am polite… because I do not know how to use American bad words:)” For me, these bad words sounds funny because Russian is a very rich language, and we can say “B*” in hundred different ways or we can say “F* off” in million different styles by using “old-fashioned literature language” but stay a well-mannered person at the same time. Back to this story, I have a person who really offended me last week and continue to do that. Inside of my personality, I have two Anastasiyas. One of them wants to punch him on his face and use f*, w*, s* again f* words. She is really mad and aggressive right now. If she has an ability, she will smash his face into blood… sometimes I can be too aggressive and like a match. But… (the magical BUT stops it always) the another Anastasiya said, “Come on, girl… F* you are a lady.” Yes… Oh My God, despite the fact that I can do everything what I mentioned above, I am a lady (I am frowning right now). The best thing that I can do now is to throw out my high heels to this person but… I really love my shoes to throw them out to the “useless person.” Because of “You are a lady”, you cannot do some things such as using bad words (but sometimes I really want it), be rude and quick-tempered person; sometimes… I really want to wear shorts and play counter strike, make fly kites, use bad words, beat somebody and be a kid… but “F… I am a lady now.” Because of “You are a lady now”, you cannot beat somebody with a heavy book or slap somebody in front of other people. Because “You are a lady”, you have to behave as a lady and keep your temper on your own hands… you have to control your emotions and actions. Because of “You are a lady”, people could look at you and think, “It will be better if she will born in 1960’s” and it is true. Because “You are a lady”, it is too difficult to find a gentleman now… but Ladies can smile and be sarcastic at the same time… Because their smile can do everything, it is a benefit to be a lady than a copy of something that called a woman… that wearing jeans and grey tanks, snickers and didn’t do a make up and had a cunning eyes.

Please… Girls… Women… be a lady. Please… Be a real lady… no matter of your weight, height, nationality, color of you skin and ethnicity… just be a lady.


PS. 🙂