About Discrimination in Love
Is there a difference if you are in love in a person who differs from you? Today as usual, I have a conversation about relationship with one of my closest friend. She shared with me that her boyfriend cannot make a proposal because of her nationality. In my country, we can find it everywhere… almost in every second family. She was Russian Korean and he was a 100% Uzbek. Because of his arguing with his family, he could afford a masters program in Korea with her only; they moved together and dad disinherited him. Now they live together and thought about moving to Korea.
Another example is when she was an Uzbek and he was Tatar. They dated for one year and her family didn’t accept him because of his family name. He was half of Uzbek and half of Tatar; they said her to choose between family and a young man. She chose her family. She is still depressed but can do nothing with it.
One of my friend is in committed relationship with a Jewish young man. They are an ideal couple. When I look at them, I thought that they will be a great family. They look alike but his family did not want to accept her; moreover, they don’t want to meet her. She is not Jewish.
And here is my question… why people judge each other based on nationality, religion and color. Why? Do we still have these stereotypes in the XXI century? If yes… why parents continue to follow this rules based on “in box thoughts”? Don’t we have globalization? Don’t they want to develop tolerance and loyalty in their kids? Do they really want to put a racists stereotypes in their kids’ heads? It is crazy!
I had the same situation when I was heard, “You are not ____” At that time I was feeling like I am a defective person. I am not a normal person. I have no nationality and culture because “I am not _____.” My dad suggested me once, “You don’t need to be ashamed if somebody has a limited brain or no brain in his/her skull.” Based on my experience, I was with a person in a long-term relationship and tried “to fix” my background… but it was not mine. I follow rules and traditions but they were not mine. I did everything to be look like _____ ; one day I realized that “I cannot be with this person… not because I am not _____… because he is not a “Human” who can respect others.” Because I was reared in a family where parents’ friends were Koreans, Russians, Uzbeks, Tatars, Greeks, Jewish, Chinese, Kazakhs, Tadjiks, Polish, Romanians, I couldn’t feel this segregation. I remember we learned songs, tales and nursery rhymes in many languages, and we never talk about nationalities. In Soviet Union we had a phrase, “Friendship of Peoples/Nationalities” and after the perestroika, people lost this meaning, I guess. They started to divide each other by nationalities, color and status. I don’t really understand it…
And if somebody will ask me one day, “Is it ok if I am Yellow/Red/ Black/White or Greek, Italian, Japanese?” I will laugh because I want to be with a person not with one of human’s factors. There are good and bad people in every nation, and we do not have a right to judge the whole nation based on it.
I truly believe that color of your skin, last name, nationality do not play a main role being a human. If you truly love your person, you will not pay attention on color of his/her skin, nationality or background… maybe it looks ~childish but I believe that if two people respect each other, they can deal with everything.
PS. I’ve read an article about “black and white relationship” and “Asian and White relationship”… they were so disgusting and full of racist comments. I just do not want to post this negative on my blog. Just shame on you People who write it. It doesn’t matter black or white, Asian, European or African American… if you have something “in your skull.”